Something's wrong

There might be something wrong with me
'cause I feel like I'm mad at myself...

I'm counting pressures and not blessings,
I'm rejecting instead of inviting,
running away instead of chasing.

So many good things are happening
but they all seem so blurry under this gray sky...

God, let me out of my prison,
which I myself built like a sand castle:
seems fun at first, but the sand is so hard to clean...

What happened to me, again?